(9/2012)
I woke up this morning not really wanting to get out of bed.
On top of the fact I didn’t feel well, I woke up just grumpy because I still
live in Alaska. I miss my family, I miss my friends, I miss the sun, I miss TJ
Maxx and Marshalls, I miss it all. Yet here I am in rainy, overcast Anchorage,
Alaska forcing myself to get out of bed, go to work and be happy with where God
has me.
Then tonight it happened. Snow.
If I didn’t already have a headache from blowing my nose and
coughing all day, I would have cried. It is only September and we have snow.
I have lived in Alaska for two years now. I moved here for
an internship that, by God’s grace and mercy, turned into a job offer. I enjoy
my job and I enjoy my experience here. For the last two years I have been
completely content being here (that is, with some not-so-happy days along the
way). The problem is that between the crazy winter we had last winter and the
crappy summer full of rain that we had this summer, in addition to my numerous
friends who are getting married back east, recently my contentedness has
dwindled and today…I am feeling quite over missing some things that make me
happy.
As I said, there’s a problem. I need to produce a solution
and the solution is easy… change the circumstances that are making me unhappy
and discontent. Then things
will be better.
Right?
Not really.
Why, you ask? Why stay somewhere that I don’t like,
somewhere that’s challenging my “feelings” when I could be somewhere else that
would make me “feel” better. While
painful, the answer is simple. God led me here and I don’t believe, contrary to
my feelings, that He’s leading me to leave to feel better.
I am not sure when the trend actually began, but we live in
a society that equates unhappiness as a need to leave or change or move to the
nearest comfort level. We think that God primarily wants us to be happy and
that He wants to “bless” us with sunshine, money and joyful situations. We are
so wrong! While God may give us those things along the way, in the words of my
previous Pastor…God doesn’t want to make us happy. He wants to make us Holy.
Many of the people God used in the Bible dealt with
loneliness, rejection and discomfort…while being where God wanted them. Some even tried to run, but the
results were never positive. Even
the disciples, those who actually walked and lived with Jesus, suffered and
were persecuted. Jesus Himself was
not glorified until after He experienced death from the blood He shed because
of the nails that pierced His hands and feet and the weight of the sins of this
world literally on his shoulders. There
has been no greater discomfort. He had the power to put down the cross and
leave. He had the power to avoid all of his pain and suffering and leave. But
He chose to stay, persevere and fight despite the discomfort of God’s silence. He understood that His pain was bringing
about something greater.
In life, we will without a doubt face situations that are
not what we desire. But if God led us there, we should be obedient and stay
there. I once heard a Pastor say that you are in more danger being out of God’s
will than staying in His will . God NEVER said this life would be easy, but He
did promise that He would always go before us and He will ALWAYS be with us.
No matter what you are going through, if you believe God has
you there, be obedient and stay. If you are not sure, ask Him. By prayer,
fasting and whatever means you need to snuggle up beside Him, just ask Him. He
WILL answer you.
Be obedient. Stay. Trust that He is doing something greater.
I am not comfortable right now. God knows that. All I can do
now is wait until He tells me otherwise… and go take out my skis.
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