I Know It's In There!

I have a dog named Eli. Living alone in Alaska can be quite lonely and Eli has been an amazing companion for me. He is a husky/greyhound mix... so he is a lean, big boy with tons of energy and quite the personality. I got Eli when he was just a few months old, so he and I have bonded over the years and developed quite the understanding of one another. I took pride in training him, and to be honest I think I did quite well :). However, I must admit there are moments when he actually teaches me something.

Today, Eli taught me about faith.

Eli has this toy that you can stuff treats inside. The trick is, the dog has to figure out how to get the treat out of the toy. Dogs love the toy because they get a yummy treat. Owners love it because their dogs entertain themselves for hours. Last year, I realized that Eli figured out that if he brought his toy to me, I would throw it and the likelihood of his treat being set free was increased (smart dog!). As such, depending on how stuck the treat was, he would come to me to throw his toy over and over until it came out. At times he might even give up for a day or two. But he always came back and kept persisting until he got the treat. Today, I managed to stuff a treat into his toy in a way that I knew it would take some diligence on his part to access. As usual, he kept bringing the toy to me in efforts to get me to throw it again...and again...and again. Each time he came to me with the same excitement like, "I don't know when it is coming out but I know it's in there! Throw it again!" That's when it dawned on me.

Should we not have this same attitude toward God?

It's so easy to feel like our prayers haven't been answered, or even heard. We rejoice when our prayers are answered quickly and with ease. But when the prayers take longer, it is so easy to think that things are 'stuck' the way they are. But should we give up and stop coming to God with our request?

No!

Whatever we are waiting for is right there in God's hands. We just have to have the heart of Eli the dog. Keep coming to God with the expectations that our prayers and faith will be answered. Just like with Eli's toy, we should essentially use our prayers to say, "I don't know when it is coming out but I know it's in there!" In God's perfect timing that 'treat' will be released.

Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my sighing. Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray. In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I will lay my requests before you and wait in expectation- Psalm 5:1-3

Never stop praying- 1 Thessalonians 5:17 (New Living Translation)

Be Careful What You Ask For

A few years ago I asked my BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) group to pray that I find joy/ peace in Christ alone. I meant it when I asked for their prayers, and I meant it when I prayed for myself. I had no idea exactly WHAT I was really asking for at that moment. You see, when I placed that as my prayer request I was actually going through what I thought was the most difficult situation I had ever faced. My life had taken an unexpected turn, my heart had been shattered and days of consistent happiness were beginning to run few and far between. I was putting on a smile everyday, but was it always genuine? Not really. Grad school and work were just that... grad school and work. The passion in what I was doing was lacking. My close friendships all seemed to be going up and down. All in all, I was beginning to realize that the life that I envisioned for myself when I was a child or even in high school was not coming into fruition. In fact, it seemed that I was slowly becoming the person I didn't want to become. So, I prayed. I was confused, hurt and tired but the prayers never ceased because that honestly was the only thing I knew how to do. But when I prayed that specific prayer for joy/peace in Christ alone, I think I essentially thought that prayer would just 'fix it'. You know, that one-stop-shop kind of prayer. You pray for joy in Christ and then POOF! You no longer worry or get weighed down by all the crap that once bothered you.

Being the God that He is, God did NOT answer my prayers.  I wanted any life discomforts that I was facing to immediately dissolve. I wanted to wake up everyday and feel happy and thankful that God blessed me with another day. I wanted to walk around the world with a bounce in my step and a smile on my face. I wanted to accept songs I sang in church for the literal meaning... Weeping may last for a night, but JOY comes in the morning! But I'm just saying, how long is a 'night' supposed to last?

In my worldly efforts I tried to do my usual 'I am having a crappy day' tactics to make things better. Eating, going for a run/walk, being around people, calling people to give me comfort, shopping, reading, writing down inspirational quotes, I tried it all. What I discovered was that all of the things that I tried weren't having the effect that I desired. I still felt empty. What I have come to realize is that all of my attempts to make myself happy were in vain because those things are not capable of giving me joy.

Several years later, I am just beginning to realize that through this process, God has most definitely answered my prayers and the prayers of my BSF group.  Out of His love and mercies towards me, He answered my prayers how He saw fit and in a way that far exceeded what I thought I needed.  Life's circumstances haven't necessarily gotten better (one could even argue that they have gotten worse).   But through my constant communication with God and the studying of His word, a very unique experience transpired: The worse things got, the more reduced I felt as a person. The more reduced I felt as a person, the more humble I became. The more humbled I became, the more I wanted, desired and craved Jesus.

So has my situation changed? No. Has God answered my cry to change various situations in my life? Not yet. Has He loved on me through this process? Yes... beyond words. Has He changed my perspective to see Him better? Yes! Has he opened my heart to a new awareness and deeper desire to know Him? Yes! Has He made all of my problems disappear? Nope. However, has He presented me with an opportunity to find joy and peace in Christ alone?

John Piper answers that question best in his book When I Don't Desire God: How to Fight for Joy. I am just getting started on this book, but on page 44 he says:

...We understand that the fight for joy is first and always a fight to see. Seeing the glory of Jesus Christ in the gospel awakens joy. And joy in Christ magnifies His worth.

So do I have joy/peace in Christ alone?  


Yes.
I recognize that every day of the rest of my life will not be perfect. Jesus Himself suffered so why should I expect my life to be full of cupcakes and sunshine? That is an unattainable expectation. So then how did God answer my prayer to find joy/peace in Christ alone? He awakened my heart to know that there is absolutely nothing in this world that can satisfy me like Him. Whether He continues to bless me by subtracting things from my life or if He chooses to bless me by adding things to my life, I know that Jesus Christ alone is my source of peace and joy.